Resident data ends at 6334, program starts at 6334, file ends at 217c4

Starting analysis pass at address 6331

End of analysis pass, low address = 6334, high address = 12d30


[Start of text]

S001: "A GOOD BREAKFAST"
S002: "
An Interactive Feeding
Copyright (c) 1997 by Stuart Adair (stu042@bigfoot.com).
"
S003: "970918"
S004: "6/7"
S005: "a"
S006: "---"
S007: "the"
S008: "The "
S009: "the "
S010: "a "
S011: "The "
S012: "the "
S013: "an "
S014: "The "
S015: "the "
S016: "some "
S017: "The "
S018: "the "
S019: "some "
S020: "N = next subject"
S021: "P = previous"
S022: "  Q = resume game"
S023: "Q = previous menu"
S024: "RETURN = read subject"
S025: "Score: "
S026: "Moves: "
S027: "Time: "
S028: "You can't go that way."
S029: "your former self"
S030: "yourself"
S031: "Darkness"
S032: "those things"
S033: "that"
S034: " or "
S035: "nothing"
S036: " is"
S037: " are"
S038: "is "
S039: "are "
S040: " and "
S041: "whom "
S042: "which "
S043: "(considering the first sixteen objects only)
"
S044: "
Would you like to RESTART, RESTORE a saved game"
S045: ", give the FULL score for that game"
S046: ", see some suggestions for AMUSING things to do"
S047: "[Your interpreter does not provide "undo". Sorry!]"
S048: ""Undo" failed. [Not all interpreters provide it.]"
S049: "Please give one of the answers above."
S050: "[You can't "undo" what hasn't been done!]"
S051: "[Can't "undo" twice in succession. Sorry!]"
S052: ""Oops" can only correct a single word."
S053: "It is pitch dark, and you can't see a thing."
S054: "To repeat a command like "frog, jump", just say "again", not "frog,
again"."
S055: "You seem to want to talk to someone, but I can't see whom."
S056: "To talk to someone, try "someone, hello" or some such."
S057: "I didn't understand that sentence."
S058: "I only understood you as far as wanting to "
S059: "You seem to have said too little!"
S060: "You can't use multiple objects with that verb."
S061: "You can only use multiple objects once on a line."
S062: "You excepted something not included anyway!"
S063: "You can only do that to something animate."
S064: "That's not something you need to refer to in the course of this game."
S065: "I didn't understand the way that finished."
S066: "Sorry, you can only have one item here. Which exactly?"
S067: "(Since something dramatic has happened, your list of commands has been
cut short.)"
S068: " (closed, empty and providing light)"
S069: "no pronouns are known to the game."
S070: "Are you sure you want to restart? "
S071: "The game file has verified as intact."
S072: "The game file did not verify as intact, and may be corrupt."
S073: "Attempt to begin transcript failed."
S074: "Attempt to end transcript failed."
S075: "You're carrying too many things already."
S076: "You can't put something on top of itself."
S077: "You can't put something inside itself."
S078: " for a while, but don't achieve much."
S079: "You can only get into something freestanding."
S080: "But you aren't in anything at the moment."
S081: "You'll have to say which compass direction to go in."
S082: " is now in its normal "brief" printing mode, which gives long
descriptions of places never before visited and short descriptions otherwise."
S083: " is now in its "verbose" mode, which always gives long descriptions of
locations (even if you've been there before)."
S084: " is now in its "superbrief" mode, which always gives short descriptions
of locations (even if you haven't been there before)."
S085: "Darkness, noun. An absence of light to see by."
S086: "seem to be something you can unlock."
S087: "seem to be something you can lock."
S088: "This dangerous act would achieve little."
S089: "Nothing practical results from your prayer."
S090: "The dreadful truth is, this is not a dream."
S091: "Digging would achieve nothing here."
S092: "You jump on the spot, fruitlessly."
S093: "You would achieve nothing by this."
S094: "There's nothing suitable to drink here."
S095: "But there's no water here to carry."
S096: "Real adventurers do not use such language."
S097: "Violence isn't the answer to this one."
S098: "There's not enough water to swim in."
S099: "There's nothing sensible to swing here."
S100: "That would be less than courteous."
S101: "Is that the best you can think of?"
S102: "You lack the nerve when it comes to the crucial moment."
S103: "I don't think much is to be achieved by that."
S104: "You aren't feeling especially drowsy."
S105: "You discover nothing of interest in "
S106: "[Gluing in inference with pattern code "
S107: "Suzy says nothing. This is probably because she's asleep."
S108: "I'll assume you wanted to turn around.
"
S109: "
You've scored points for: aiding the abbot; bashing the bishop; crushing the
canopy; delivering the diamond; enchanting Elvis; flaming the forest; gnudging
the gnu; hanging the hangman; injuring the idiot; jousting with Jasper; killing
the klairvoyant; leaping to the ledge; mashing the monster; nailing the nail;
observing the occult; peeling potatoes; quizzing the queen; roasting the
rabbit; slapping the squirrel; testing testosterone; unseating the unbeliever;
vaulting the vegetables; winding the wood; xyzzy; making the yak yawn; and
zapping the ziggurat."
S110: ", giving you the rank of Homecoming Hero."
S111: "That's difficult unless your eyes are prehensile."
S112: "You're not actually wearing anything."
S113: "Clothed, and as good-looking as ever."
S114: "Exercising only makes you feel more hungry."
S115: "I fell asleep inside, I never heard her come,"
S116: "And then she opened up her wardrobe,"
S117: "And I had to get it on..."
S118: ""
S119: "-- Pulp, "Babies""
S120: "This house is not my home,"
S121: "I choose to sleep alone,"
S122: "No I'm not waiting for the telephone..."
S123: ""
S124: "-- The Wonderstuff, "Sleep Alone""
S125: "But as the stars are going out,"
S126: "And the stage is full of nothing,"
S127: "And the friends have all but gone,"
S128: "For my life, my God I'm singing..."
S129: ""
S130: "-- Dubstar, "Stars""
S131: "Thinking back now,"
S132: "I suppose you were just stating your views,"
S133: "What was it all for?"
S134: "For the weather or the Battle of Agincourt?"
S135: ""
S136: "-- Billy Bragg, "St Swithin's Day""
S137: " on the bed. Then you realise how pointless this is, so you take "
S138: "You have so far scored 99 out of a possible 100 in "
S139: "Real adventurers do not use such language"
S140: " "
S141: "[Next Page]"
S142: "[Previous Page]"
S143: "


[That's All Folks!]
"
S144: "HINTS disabled."
S145: "(Please Press Any Key)"
S146: "[Warning: It is recognised that the temptation for help may at times be
so exceedingly strong that you might fetch hints prematurely. Therefore, you
may at any time during the story type HINTS OFF, and this will disallow the
seeking out of help for the present session of the story. If you still want a
hint now, indicate HINT.]
"
S147: "InvisiHints"
S148: "
Press ENTER for another hint, Q to return to the menu."
S149: "The writing on the carton indicates that it contain"
S150: "s skimmed milk; sickeningly healthy, but it'll have to do."
S151: "ed skimmed milk, but it's empty now."
S152: "That would probably add a bit of much-needed flavour to it, although you
maybe shouldn't for sanitary reasons."
S153: " the carton. At least, you would if there was actually anything in it."
S154: "You turn the carton upside-down. As you watch it "
S155: "splash onto the ground and flow away"
S156: ", you wonder if wasting the milk was a good idea."
S157: "some"
S158: "It looks just like normal milk, but slightly more watery."
S159: "The milk wouldn't satisfy you; it's skimmed, with all the good,
artery-clogging stuff removed, and therefore too insubstantial to be any good
at all, really."
S160: "Emily is 17 years old, with long, black hair and a love of Placebo. She
also doesn't appear in this game, so I don't know how you managed to read this.
Actually, I do, and you're a disgusting no-good cheater."
S161: "Lucinda doesn't exist in the game. Jeff killed her and buried her under
the patio like on Brookside. No, really."
S162: "Have you noticed anything odd about yourself?
"
S163: "It's all to do with what you're carrying.
"
S164: "Or what you're not carrying.
"
S165: "Or what you're not wearing.
"
S166: "You'll need some clothing before you can leave.
"
S167: "Remember the introductory text?
"
S168: "You need to rescue your clothes from their current resting place.
"
S169: "That's the washing machine.
"
S170: "Just open the washing machine and you can get the clothes.
"
S171: "Only it's not quite that simple, is it? You need to unstick the door
somehow.
"
S172: "You need to pry it open with something.
"
S173: "Something long and flat.
"
S174: "Like a screwdriver.
"
S175: "OPEN THE DOOR WITH THE SCREWDRIVER.
"
S176: "It's wherever you had it last.
"
S177: "Where do you think you'll have used it last?
"
S178: "You're a very technical person.
"
S179: "It's in the computer room somewhere.
"
S180: "Search everything.
"
S181: "Especially those disks.
"
S182: "It's your own fault.
"
S183: "You need to take basic security precautions.
"
S184: "CLOSE THE FRONT DOOR when you're outside.
"
S185: "It's all a matter of unlocking the door.
"
S186: "It's all a matter of cracking the code.
"
S187: "It's all a matter of finding the combination.
"
S188: "The gnomes are the key.
"
S189: "So's the bird.
"
S190: "The gnomes are all facing north.
"
S191: "This implies that they can face other directions.
"
S192: "Have you tried turning them?
"
S193: "It's a game of 'Hi-Lo' in base 4. If the bird's head goes up, you need
to go higher. If it goes down, you need to go lower.
"
S194: "By the way, turning the gnomes will, by default, turn them clockwise. If
you want to turn them anticlockwise (or counterclockwise, if you prefer), just
say so. You can also turn them to face a particular direction.
"
S195: "Here's the deal; the combination is a number between 1 and 255. The
direction a gnome is facing translates to a number; 0, 1, 2 or 3, depending on
whether the gnome is facing north, east, south or west. Each time you turn one,
the base 4 number corresponding to the gnome's positions is compared with the
combination. If the combination is higher, the bird will nod upwards; if the
combination is lower, the bird will nod downwards.
"
S196: "The quick and dirty method of cracking the code follows:
"
S197: "Turn the thinking gnome until either the gnome is facing west, or the
bird nods downwards.
"
S198: "If it is facing west, move on to the sitting gnome. If the bird nodded
downwards, turn the thinking gnome anticlockwise before moving onto the sitting
gnome.
"
S199: "Continue the process, moving from left to right (i.e. thinking gnome,
sitting gnome, digging gnome, laughing gnome). The door will open when you have
the right combination.
"
S200: "The milkman's forgotten to deliver to you today, so you'll have to get
it from somewhere else.
"
S201: "Have you been outside yet?
"
S202: "You might want to pay a visit to your next-door neighbour.
"
S203: "You might want to take his milk.
"
S204: "You can't take it straight away though. You'll have to ask him for it.
"
S205: "How can you persuade him to give you the milk?
"
S206: "How can you persuade him that it's in his best interests to give him the
milk?
"
S207: "Have you seen the photos yet?
"
S208: "Has Jeff seen the photos yet?
"
S209: "SHOW THE PHOTOS TO JEFF
"
S210: "Now you just need to ask him for the milk.
"
S211: "ASK JEFF FOR THE MILK
"
S212: "How can you get it down from that shelf?
"
S213: "You need to stand on something.
"
S214: "How about the chair from the computer room?
"
S215: "So that didn't work. You need to stop it turning somehow.
"
S216: "You can make it go higher or lower.
"
S217: "It'll only go to a certain height.
"
S218: "You need to TURN THE CHAIR so that it sticks.
"
S219: "It's in the dishwasher.
"
S220: "Eurgh! You need to clean it.
"
S221: "There's no water, so you need to find something else to clean it with.
"
S222: "How about a free source of water?
"
S223: "Examine the birdtable.
"
S224: "You need to stand out in the rain.
"
S225: "Somewhere not sheltered by a house.
"
S226: "Somewhere north of the porch.
"
S227: "Have you seen Suzy yet?
"
S228: "You need to play her game to get the spoon.
"
S229: "It's very simple. Just do what she says.
"
S230: "The quick and dirty method follows:
"
S231: "(Be warned that it's not very quick..."
S232: "...but you'd have to be lower than a snake's belly to try it.)
"
S233: "The reset button is for if you get really stuck.
"
S234: "If you keep pressing it, sooner or later you'll get a really easy
pattern.
"
S235: "You need to get to the bathroom.
"
S236: "You'll have to open the bathroom door first.
"
S237: "Have you examined it?
"
S238: "It's obviously bolted from the other side.
"
S239: "You need to slide the bolt across somehow.
"
S240: "You need to slide the metal bolt across somehow.
"
S241: "You need to slide the METAL bolt across somehow.
"
S242: "Use the magnet.
"
S243: "PUT THE MAGNET ON THE DOOR
"
S244: "Well, it sticks. What now?
"
S245: "MOVE THE MAGNET to unlock the door.
"
S246: "Now just OPEN THE DOOR, GO SOUTH, and you've won!
"
S247: "It's in a fantasy world.
"
S248: "You can get there from the computer room.
"
S249: "Have you tried taking a disk?
"
S250: "Have you tried answering the computer's question?
"
S251: "TAKE A DISK and answer YES
"
S252: "Now put the cartridge in the computer.
"
S253: "You need to get across the bridge.
"
S254: "Read the description of the guard carefully.
"
S255: "What does she do to you?
"
S256: "How can you use that to your advantage?
"
S257: "She turns you around and pushes you in that direction.
"
S258: "You need to go north across the bridge.
"
S259: "TURN AROUND on the bridge to fool the guard.
"
S260: "Now just GO NORTH
"
S261: "out
east
down
get card and envelope
west
get disk
yes
put cartridge in computer
north
turn around
north
search disks
push chair east
push chair south
open dishwasher
get dish
turn chair
stand on chair
get box
get down
east
open door with screwdriver
get clothes
wear clothes
west
north
east
push play

--- You'll have to solve Suzy's game yourself ---

get spoon
west
open door
north
close door
north
east
south
push bell
open envelope
wait
show photos to jeff
ask jeff for milk
north
west
south

--- You'll have to solve the gnomes puzzle yourself ---
--- See the online hints for advice on this section ---

south
up
open box
open carton
pour cornflakes into bowl
pour box into bowl
eat cornflakes
put magnet on door
move magnet
open door
south"
S262: "You can start tidying them up later; right now, you've got breakfast to
make."
S263: "You can start tidying it up later; right now, you've got breakfast to
make."
S264: "Faded posters adorn the walls of your bedroom, vainly trying to cover
the cracks which have appeared over time. The worn carpet beneath your feet is
a dull grey colour, which perfectly complements the light grey walls and
ceiling. Most of the space in this shoebox of a room is taken up by your bed,
while a"
S265: " wardrobe nestles in the corner. The only exit is to the east, which
leads to the landing."
S266: "Yes, it's early, but that doesn't give you an excuse to go walking into
walls. Try going east instead."
S267: "The wardrobe is quite spacious, with enough room to fit in if you really
wanted to."
S268: "The posters are for various bands, and, although the sun rarely shines,
are quite faded."
S269: "The posters have been there so long, you'd probably rip great chunks of
plaster off if you tried to remove them."
S270: "The bands aren't important. You've never heard of them anyway; they were
a present from a friend a few years ago."
S271: "The wall is covered in light grey paint, which is covered in cracks,
which in turn are almost, but not quite, covered over by the posters."
S272: "The wall is covered in light grey paint, which is covered in cracks,
which in turn are almost, but not quite, covered over by the posters."
S273: "The carpet is a dull grey colour, and has been worn down, thanks to your
habit of wearing trainers in the house."
S274: "It's a fairly basic single bed, with a drawer in the side. The sheets
are crumpled, the pillow's squashed, and it's a bit of a mess, really."
S275: "You feel snug in bed, but you'll have to get out sooner or later, since
you're pretty hungry."
S276: "Seeing as how it took three of you to carry it in here, you might have a
bit of a struggle on your hands."
S277: "You'll have to get out of the wardrobe first."
S278: "Just as you're about to get back into bed, you feel a rumbling deep in
your stomach. You decide that, while sleep is important, food is, at this
moment in time, even more important."
S279: "If you're trying to open the drawer, you should refer to it directly."
S280: "You'll have to get out of the wardrobe first."
S281: "You'll have to get out of the wardrobe first."
S282: "It's a bed. What kind of noise do you expect it to be making?"
S283: "I'm beginning to worry about you."
S284: "You'll have to get out of the wardrobe first."
S285: "You'll have to get out of the wardrobe first."
S286: "It's lovely and warm, but you can't stay in it forever."
S287: "You'll have to get out first if you want to try that."
S288: "It's a bed. What kind of noise do you expect it to be making?"
S289: "I'm beginning to worry about you."
S290: "Your bed linen is a complete mess, but that's how it suits you."
S291: "It seized up years ago."
S292: "You'll have to get out of the wardrobe first."
S293: "No matter how hard you pull it, you can't get the drawer to open."
S294: "You'll have to get out of the wardrobe first."
S295: "You work the screwdriver into the gap behind the drawer. A quick twist
does nothing. Neither does a long twist. Neither does a painfully prolonged
twist. You see what I'm getting at?"
S296: " pretty useless for the purposes of opening drawers, really."
S297: "The landing has only one purpose; to allow passage south to the
bathroom, west to your bedroom, or down the stairs to the hall. Although it
serves its purpose well, it does so with little panache; hence, it could best
be described as boring."
S298: "Like I said, you can go south, west, or down."
S299: "The bathroom door is surprisingly sturdy, thanks to its thickness and
the sliding metal bolt on the bathroom side."
S300: "The bathroom door is shut."
S301: "The bathroom door stands open."
S302: "You bang on the door, but it just rattles in place."
S303: "Hitting the door causes it to bang against the wall."
S304: "You hit the door, which flies open and bangs against the wall."
S305: "You pull the handle, but the door just rattles in place. There's
probably someone in there, sleeping off a hangover."
S306: "You pull the handle, but the door just rattles in place."
S307: "You try and close the door, but the bolt prevents you from doing so."
S308: " to the ground as soon as you let go of it."
S309: "You put the magnet on the door, which, to your amazement, stays stuck to
it, obviously attracted by the metal bolt on the other side."
S310: "You can't put things on the bolt, seeing as how it's on the other side."
S311: "You can't reach it from this side."
S312: "You pull the bolt into the open position."
S313: "You can't reach it from this side."
S314: "You push the bolt into the closed position. "
S315: "It sticks out, spoiling the vertical flow of the door's edge."
S316: "It's a simple metal bolt which can slide to lock the door."
S317: "This is the bathroom. You can go north to the landing."
S318: "Although most people spent last night in the living room or the kitchen,
a few paper cups litter the hall. The porch lies north, beyond the front door,
while the living room is to the east, the kitchen is to the south, the computer
room is to the west, and the landing is up the stairs."
S319: "Some of the paper cups are empty, while some contain a
suspicious-looking brown liquid. Best left alone, I think."
S320: "Your stomach probably couldn't handle it at the moment."
S321: "Cheap and nasty cider; it probably costs 50p a gallon.
"
S322: "He drinks a whiskey drink, he drinks a vodka drink,"
S323: "He drinks a lager drink, he drinks a cider drink..."
S324: ""
S325: "-- Chumbawamba, "Tubthumping""
S326: "The front door is the type that will easily open from the inside, but
has to be unlocked on the outside. "
S327: "However, there doesn't seem to be a lock on this side."
S328: "The front door imposingly blocks passage both out of and into the
house."
S329: "The front door stands invitingly open. It looks a bit more open than it
was before."
S330: "The front door stands invitingly open."
S331: "You close the door, but it swings open again. Funny, it's supposed to
lock shut when you close it."
S332: "You need to unlock it from this side."
S333: "The postwoman has broken her previous record for letter-flinging; a
plain brown envelope lies about a metre and a half away from its entry point,
the letterbox."
S334: "It's a plain brown envelope, addressed to Mr Jeff Farnham, your
next-door neighbour."
S335: "You tear the envelope open, revealing some photos."
S336: "That's too bulky to fit in the envelope."
S337: "some"
S338: "They seem to be blurred (yet graphic) Polaroids of Mr Farnham with Ms
Christine Evans, his young, attractive secretary. You can't quite work out
which way up some of them are supposed to go."
S339: "The card is addressed to you, informing you that your water supply will
be cut off for the whole of today for vital repair work."
S340: "The word letterbox is something of a misnomer; although letters are
indeed placed in it, there is no box involved, and all post plops onto your
carpet (or, when the postwoman is feeling energetic, is forced down the hall as
far as possible)."
S341: "The letterbox doesn't open from this side; things have to be put in from
the porch side."
S342: "This is the living room, the nerve centre for last night's party.
Assorted detritus litters the ground; bottles, empty crisp packets, squashed
sausage rolls... It's going to take ages to clear this lot! The TV, which
appears to have had a run-in with a gang of silly-string-wielding maniacs and
is switched "
S343: ", is nestled in the northeast corner. It faces the sofa, while the
armchair seems to have transformed itself into a traffic cone. The only exit is
the one to the west, which leads to the hall."
S344: "The 'string' part of the name is obvious; the 'silly' part is less so.
It presumebly refers to its flourescent yellow colour, but why this is regarded
as silly is anyone's guess."
S345: " no armchair; someone seems to have replaced it with a traffic cone."
S346: "You and your friends all had a traffic cone in your rooms at university;
you were only allowed to join the Sacred Order of the Cone if you stole one and
walked around the streets of Manchester with it on your head. Your bad back
prevented you from joining in this way, but as an honorary member, you were
allowed to keep a cone in your room. Some of your old friends were obviously
here last night; you hope they haven't reformed as the Sacred Order of the
Armchair, as there were numerous injuries, both to acolytes and to bystanders,
the last time that was attempted."
S347: "Although you couldn't put one on your head, you could carry it easily
enough. Why you would want to is another matter entirely. In any case, you
don't feel up to it right now; you should get something to eat first."
S348: "Real ale for serious drinkers. Or, to put it another way, super-bitter
bitter with a stupid name; in this case, they've decided to call it "Olde
Crudbucket.""
S349: "The bottles look way too crunchy, although the ale's probably thick
enough to be able to eat."
S350: "Hair of the dog is not what you need right now."
S351: "Strong. Very strong. Actually, this is the perfect way to get drunk; all
of the dizziness and none of the taste."
S352: "You've got more important things to do than get drunk again. Not that
that usually stops you, mind."
S353: "Exceedingly cheap crisps from the all-night garage down the road."
S354: "There aren't any crisps left; just the crumbs and the packets."
S355: "I'll pretend you didn't type that."
S356: "Ready salted, cheapest of all crisps."
S357: "It looks as though someone put them on the carpet and deliberately
ground them in. Come to think of it, that's exactly what you were doing last
night."
S358: "There's too much carpet fluff on them to even think about it."
S359: "They don't really smell of anything, actually."
S360: "The telly is a fairly basic one, and is currently festooned with a
tangled web of garishly flourescent silly-string. It is currently switched "
S361: "on. A quick glance at the panel reveals that it's switched to "
S362: "
The last programme has finished, and a new one is starting shortly.
"
S363: "
A wildlife programme about freakish-looking insects is on TV. There's a
time-lapse sequence of them eating some rotting meat."
S364: "
An awful British chat show is on TV. Some self-appointed medical expert is
dispensing advice."
S365: "
A celebrity game show is on TV. You haven't a clue who half of them are."
S366: "
A poorly-animated childrens' cartoon is on TV. It's about a group of
superheroes with unique powers, just like all the other superheroes."
S367: "
A black-and-white war film is on TV. Although you've never seen it before, you
know that the hero will sacrifice himself for King and Country."
S368: "
A moody Swedish art-house film is on TV. Two men are sitting at a chess board,
playing backwards."
S369: "
A community programme (completely with wobbly camcorder effects) is on TV. An
old person is complaining about kids today."
S370: "
A hopeless British science-fiction programme is on TV. The planet Earth is
being terrorised by a marauding group of men in shiny silver suits. Again."
S371: "
A horrendously unfunny British sitcom is on TV. The main joke in the whole
episode seems to be the word "poo"."
S372: "
A pathetic American science-fiction programme is on TV. The planet Earth is
being terrorised by a marauding group of computer graphics. Again."
S373: "
A generic American chat show is on TV. The audience cheer and whoop whenever
anything is said."
S374: "
An episode of Columbo is on TV. You wonder why it takes so long for him to
arrest the villain, when he's clearly found out who it is in the first fifteen
minutes."
S375: "
A gritty British film is on TV. No expense has been spent in making it look
worthwhile."
S376: "
A 'yoof' music show is on TV. The producers seem to think that disjointed
camera work and brain-melting video effects attract teenagers like crap
attracts flies (a fitting analogy, you feel)."
S377: "
A programme about video games is on TV. Teenage boys wearing backwards baseball
caps attempt to make their characters kick hard and punch faster than their
opponents'. You can't help thinking that a programme dedicated to IF would be
much more interesting."
S378: "
A black-and-white comedy film is on TV. A wise-cracking man with a moustache
and a cigar is making sharp remarks, while one of his brothers silently
indulges in slapstick, and the other noisily indulges in slapstick."
S379: "
Lines of interference twist across the screen, all alike."
S380: "
Beyond the fuzziness on the TV, you think you can make out a white house with
the windows boarded up."
S381: "
The screen is filled with noise."
S382: "
The screen looks like an explosion in a paint factory, while distorted speech
trickles from the speakers: "L$gnuSTo%!PLugH&xyZzy*fROTz#$lAGacH%*PLoVer""
S383: "
You catch a glimpse of a yak on the TV, then it is gone again."
S384: "
The screen splutters snow, and the speakers splutter static."
S385: "The panel is where the power switch is, along with a seven-segment LED,
which "
S386: "reveals that the TV is currently showing "
S387: "The dial has 5 positions, corresponding to the 5 channels.
Unfortunately, the markings have worn away, so you can only turn the dial
clockwise and anticlockwise, instead of to a specific channel."
S388: "Suzy is a small playful robot a friend of yours put together for you a
couple of years ago. She likes to play games with you, especially her
favourite, Hucka-Bucka-Beanstalk. She is currently sitting in the middle of the
room, gazing expectantly at you with sparkling emerald eyes. The touch-display
on her back appears to show a single button."
S389: "Suzy is currently sitting in the middle of the room, gazing expactantly
at you with sparkling emerald eyes. The touch-display on her back seems to
contain something."
S390: "Suzy is currently sitting in the corner of the room. The light in her
eyes has been extinguished for now, and the touch-display is dark once more,
but no doubt she'll be awake again before you know it."
S391: "You like to treat Suzy with a bit of respect, which means you don't pick
her up and cart her about."
S392: "Suzy giggles. "I love you!" she squeaks."
S393: "
"Hiya! I wanna play a game!""
S394: "
"Less' play a game!""
S395: "
Suzy looks up at you. "C'monnn, less' play a gaaame!""
S396: "
Suzy spins round on the spot. "Wheeeee! Look at me!""
S397: "
Suzy hums to herself."
S398: "
Suzy lets out a cute little sneeze."
S399: "
"Mmmm, I love you!""
S400: "
Suzy giggles to herself."
S401: "
You think you see a flicker of light from Suzy's corner, but when you look, you
see nothing."
S402: "
You sense some movement from the corner of your eye, but when you look at Suzy,
she's sitting perfectly still."
S403: "
You think you can hear faint giggling coming from Suzy's corner, but it fades a
second later."
S404: ""Press the 'play' button an' I'll tell you what to do!""
S405: ""It's fun! Press the 'play' button an' I'll tell you what to do!""
S406: ""Unca' Floyd teach me to play! But no wanna play today. Wanna play
Onny-Offy!""
S407: "Suzy rubs up against your feet. "I like you," she says, "you fun to be
wiv!""
S408: ""Me no like him, he nasty to you."
S409: ""Silly fing, 'at's no good to me!"
S410: "The display is a touch-sensitive LCD screen. "
S411: "The display is a four-by-four grid made up of on and off points. It
currently looks like this:

"
S412: "Now that Suzy's asleep, the display is dark and featureless."
S413: "The display shows a single button, bearing the legend "Play".
Underneath, in smaller letters, are the words "Today's prize: a spoon". "
S414: "Seeing as how there's only one spoon in the house, y"
S415: "ou'll have to play to regain your cutlery."
S416: "To select a number, type TOUCH <number>."
S417: "Touching the display does nothing now."
S418: "It's a little rectangle with the word "Reset" on it."
S419: "As you touch the button, the grid fades out. When it re-appears, the
points are all in a different order.

"
S420: ""Tee-hee, too hard for you?"

"
S421: ""Silly fing, I could've told you howta do it!"

"
S422: "Suzy giggles at you.

"
S423: "It's a simple bronze tablespoon."
S424: "Although your friends tried their best last night, the kitchen still
looks kind of half-respectable. The fridge sits humming in one corner, while
the shelf "
S425: "(on which some joker has put a box of cornflakes -- possibly the only
item of food in the house which is actually edible) "
S426: "is high up on the west wall. The dishwasher rests against the middle of
the southern wall, next to the back door, and opposite the doorway that leads
north to the hall. A small, apologetic doorway leads east to the utility room."
S427: "The door is half-open when a wave of shame rushes through you, closely
followed by one of humiliation. As the memory of your unprecedented winning
streak in the local "Worst Garden" competition (four years running and still
going strong) returns to you, you slam the door shut, and weep. You vow never
to open that door again."
S428: "Although it's not like you to keep your vows, you fully intend not to
break this one."
S429: "Thanks to a combination of your lack of stature and the fitters' (i.e.
your mates Spud and Waxy) collective excess of it, the shelf is all but
unreachable. "
S430: "A box of generic cereal is perched on top of it."
S431: "With the cornflakes gone, the only thing on top of it is dust."
S432: "Why bother? You'll only have to clamber back onto the chair to get "
S433: "The print on the box is faded, but it probably contains cornflakes -- no
matter what it was to begin with, cereal invariably becomes cornflakes four
weeks after opening. Since you can't remember when you actually bought it,
there's a good chance that it's already undergone transformation. The only
other thing of note is the writing in the corner, too bright to fade: "
S434: " As your eyes start watering, you wonder why fluorescent colouring of
this severity hasn't yet been subject to a UN ban."
S435: "Now that you know that the box contains cornflakes, you have no need to
decipher the faded print on the front. However, your attention is drawn by the
retina-searing notice in the corner: "
S436: " You suddenly realise how much you hate exclamation marks."
S437: "Now that the cornflakes are gone, the box seems to droop slightly, as
though it has lost the will to carry on, and would rather become pulp once more
than life a life of emptiness. Even the FREE!!! SUPER LUCKY MAGNET!!!! notice
seems faded, its existence now a mere shadow of its former day-glo glory."
S438: "That's not a good idea; you'll just have to pick them all up again
afterwards."
S439: "That's not the place for cornflakes!"
S440: "You push your hand into the crunchy mass, but find nothing of interest."
S441: "You rummage around in the empty box, but find nothing of interest."
S442: "Why bother? They're probably soft anyway."
S443: "some"
S444: "With a hue not so much golden as pale yellow, these cornflakes look
somewhat pathetic, and probably have all the nutritional value of a dead cat.
However, they're probably the closest you'll find to food in this house, so
they'll have to suffice."
S445: "You try to eat the cornflakes, but they're too dry."
S446: "You push your hand into the crunchy mass, but find nothing of interest."
S447: "Why? You might as well carry them in the box."
S448: "The door seems to radiate a certain mocking menace, as though daring you
to see what lies behind it."
S449: "You try to look at the door, but your sense of shame is so great that
you can't even bring yourself to so much as glance at it."
S450: "Broken beyond repair, the dishwasher is a complete waste of space. The
only reason it's still here is because you can't be bothered to get rid of it."
S451: "You can't put anything in it while it's closed!"
S452: "It's a clean dish; putting it in there will probably make it dirtier
anyway."
S453: "Why bother? It's not as if it works or anything."
S454: "The dishwasher's broken, so you won't get "
S455: "Bits of cereal cling to the bottom of the bowl, obscuring the faded
design."
S456: "
The rain washes the bits of cereal from the bowl, leaving it (relatively)
clean."
S457: "Maybe you should wash it in something."
S458: "A soft hum emanates from the plain white fridge, reminding you that,
unlike so many of the other appliances in the room, it's actually working."
S459: "The room description says that the fridge hums; the fridge description
says that the fridge hums; what did you expect me to say when you listened to
it? That it's actually playing a muted version of "Macarena" or something?
"
S460: "Karma Police,"
S461: "Arrest this man,"
S462: "He talks in math,"
S463: "And buzzes like a fridge..."
S464: ""
S465: "-- Radiohead, "Karma Police""
S466: "Opening the fridge door reveals it to be entirely empty, save for a
single pot of half-eaten yoghurt. It appears to be green. Feeling nauseated,
you slam the fridge door shut."
S467: "As you reach for the handle, you remember what was lurking behind the
door, and pull your hand away."
S468: "You can remember what the yoghurt looked like. Unfortunately."
S469: "So you remember the yoghurt? Never mind."
S470: "From what you remember of that yoghurt, eating it would be tantamount to
suicide."
S471: "No."
S472: "Definitely not."
S473: "No way."
S474: "The utility room is where you keep your washing machine and tumble
dryer, giving rise to the nickname "The Room That Time Forgot". Apart from
these two items, the room is bare, and contains nothing else which you might
find even remotely interesting. The only exit is to the west, which leads back
to the kitchen."
S475: "As with most non-computer-related electrical items in your house, the
washing machine is hopelessly out of date. The front panel comprises a single
light and a red button, "
S476: " the panel's surface. The light is blinking rapidly, signifying that the
washing machine has broken yet again."
S477: "You tug the handle as hard as possible, but it remains wedged tight in
place."
S478: "You work the screwdriver into the gap behind the door. A quick twist is
all it takes to open it, allowing the door to swing lazily open and reveal your
clothes in all their worn glory."
S479: " pretty useless for the purposes of opening doors, really."
S480: "You decide not to, just in case it jams again."
S481: "I don't care if you want to wash "
S482: "How can you switch it off if it isn't on?"
S483: "your"
S484: "Tatty T-shirt, tatty jeans, tatty pants... well, let's just say that
they've seen better days, ok?
"
S485: "Good."
S486: "Trust me, I know what I'm talking about."
S487: "Your clothes are wet from the rain."
S488: "your clothes (wet and being worn)"
S489: "
Your clothes start getting wet in the rain."
S490: "There's no way you're taking them off out here; at least, not after last
time."
S491: "You slip your clothes off, but Jeff's lascivious leer and ogling of your
feminine curves is enough to persuade you to put them back on."
S492: "Unlike the rest of the washing machine, the warning light is in perfect
working order."
S493: "The red button starts and stops the washing machine. It is currently "
S494: "The button goes in with a satisfying "
S495: "The button pops back out again. As before, nothing else happens."
S496: "The round, transparent door acts as a window to the washing machine's
murky innards, and is as prone to sticking as adventurers are to muttering
"Xyzzy". "
S497: "There's something in there, but it's too dark to be able to tell what it
is."
S498: "The washing machine seems to be empty, but who knows what really lurks
within?"
S499: "The tumble dryer is an old, battered thing, and a broken one at that.
The fact that the door's missing is a dead giveaway. One of these days, you'll
get round to buying a new one, but until then, you'll have to make do with
drying your clothes outside."
S500: "There's no door; how much more open do you want it to be?"
S501: "And how do you propose to do that, exactly?"
S502: "How can you switch it off if it isn't on?"
S503: "The green button starts and stops the tumble dryer. It is currently "
S504: "The button goes in with a disappointing "
S505: ". Nothing else happens, though, and it wouldn't matter if it did, seeing
as how your clothes are dry enough as they are."
S506: "The button pops back out again. As before, nothing else happens."
S507: "The computer room. Home of your beloved Hybrid System. It's a PC. It's a
Mac. It's an Amiga. It's all these things and more! Making a living from
programming has always been your life dream, and now it's come true... It's
just a shame the rest of your life is in disrepair because of it.

The off-white desk strains under the weight of the giant electronic monolith
and assorted peripherals; monitors, printers, piles of disks, and great reams
of printouts are all currently vying for desk space. The only exit from this
room is back to the east."
S508: "Your motley assortment of monitors are stacked periously on top of your
desk, with a hideous green-and-black Amstrad one (complete with integral disk
drive) perched triumphantly on top."
S509: "Completely empty, as it was stripped for parts a couple of years ago,
probably doubling its worth in the process."
S510: "The printers seem to be from the mid-80s, and they're all by
manufacturers you've almost heard of, like Panascanic, Cannan, and your
particular favourite, the Hewlett-Knackered DiskJet, which sounds like an
amazingly low-tech rip-off, but is in fact an astoundingly low-tech rip-off,
DiskJet being a euphemism for "daisywheel"."
S511: "The printouts contain the source for various programs; a port of Quake
to TADS, a port of Command & Conquer to Inform, and a port of Avalon to SDAGS
-- Super-Duper Adventure Game System, your own IF language; you haven't yet
finished programming the actual language, making it the perfect medium (boom
boom)."
S512: "The swivel chair is mounted on castors, and its height can be altered
by, as the name suggests, rotating it one way or the other."
S513: "You place one leg on the chair and carefully, oh so carefully, raise the
other alongside it. Suddenly, the chair seems to develop a life of its own,
turning wildly while you try to maintain your balance. You fail miserably, and
fall to the ground"
S514: ", dropping your possessions as you go."
S515: "You can't take the chair outside!"
S516: "You'll have to get off the chair first."
S517: "As you turn the chair, it gets harder and harder to do so, until the
chair is as tight as you can get it."
S518: "No matter how hard to try, you can't get the chair to turn either way."
S519: "You castors squeak as you push the chair."
S520: "The"
S521: "Through the cunning application of brute force and an array of tools,
you've managed to quite literally crowbar numerous computer systems into one
heaving tower case; a Hybrid System, if you will. The hard disk is full to
bursting with a thousand and one useless programs that you keep insisting will
come in useful one day, while the case is full to bursting with a thousand and
one useless systems that you keep insisting will come in useful one day: an
Atari STFM; a Spectrum 128k; an Amiga 500 with Kickstart 1.3. They're all in
there, desperately trying to escape the confines of the case. The front of the
computer is a bewildering array of gaping slots, each one waiting for you to
insert the requisite disk or cartridge, while the back is a jumbled jungle of
ports and cables, which you suspect hides more than one Moebius lead."
S522: "Your beloved Computer is a smouldering shadow of its former self; its
charred case is uniformly black, except for a small patch of beige about a
third of the way down the front. The Zkwork VII cartridge sits here, radiating
smugness."
S523: "No matter how hard you try, you can't get the computer to play "
S524: "anything. No, I mean it; you've probably wiped the hard disk."
S525: "A maze of twisty cables, all alike."
S526: "Maybe not; you don't want to do any "
S527: "A few days ago, the disks were neatly stacked according to size, colour,
shape, contents, and odour. Last night, however, an errant reveller knocked
them over, creating what appears to be a miniature replica of Mount Everest,
made entirely out of blue and black plastic (with metal shutters for snow). It
wouldn't surprise you at all if you found a sasquatch under there (assuming
that a sasquatch is what you think it is, namely, a type of Caribbean fruit)."
S528: "Rummaging through the disks, you "
S529: "find no trace of a sasquatch (shame, maybe that would've done for
breakfast). Instead, you "
S530: "discover your trusty screwdriver, which you take, before letting the
disks flow back into their original state."
S531: "You scrat about a bit more, but there's nothing else hidden away under
there."
S532: "Nah, you don't really want one, do you?
"
S533: "Haven't you got better things to do than pick up floppy disks?
"
S534: "Well what are you doing messing around here?"
S535: "Ah, but I think you have."
S536: "It's the adventure game "Zkwork VII"; the latest in a long line of
generic pastiches of a long line of fantasy games. In this one, you have to
find the Mystic Asparagus of Koblaz and use it to defeat the evil Wizard who
lives in The Tower Of Death in the Valley Of Fear, which is past The Forest Of
Darkness, The River Of Terror, The Gardening Shop of Doom, and The Mountain Of
Implausibility. Something like that, anyway. "
S537: "Although you gave up ages ago, you remember being stuck on the last
puzzle."
S538: "By trying to complete it, you managed to melt your computer. Nice one."
S539: "You've just completed it, but at what cost?"
S540: "The cartridge appears to have melted into place here; no matter how hard
you pull, it steadfastly refuses to budge."
S541: "Your trusty screwdriver. It seems to give off a faint glow, as though
surrounded by a heavenly aura."
S542: "This is your porch. There are four gnomes lined up in a row; from left
to right, they are thinking, sitting, digging, and laughing. The showering rain
soaks them, causing water to dribble down their cheery faces. There is a
birdtable here, on which is perched a single bird. You can go north into the
street, or south back into the house."
S543: "The word letterbox is something of a misnomer; although letters are
indeed placed in it, there is no box involved, and all post plops onto your
carpet (or, when the postwoman is feeling energetic, is forced down the hall as
far as possible)."
S544: " fits easily through the letterbox, and lands lightly on the carpet in
the hall."
S545: " through the letterbox, and it lands with a thunk on the hall carpet."
S546: " won't fit through the letterbox."
S547: "You put your hand into the letterbox, pushing it open. Eventually, you
tire of having your hand in the letterbox, so you pull it away sharply, in
order to avoid having your hand removed. If only the previous postman had
realised how strong it was; his life might've been so different if he had."
S548: "You should refer to the gnomes separately."
S549: "You don't have one; it was removed when the gnomes were installed."
S550: "The gnome's base is firmly rooted to the ground."
S551: "You turn the gnome so that it faces "
S552: "You turn the gnome so that it faces "
S553: "You turn the gnome so that it faces "
S554: "The gnome has its left arm folded across its stomach, touching its right
elbow. Its right arm is up by its face, obviously indicating deep thought.
Currently, it's facing "
S555: "The gnome is sitting on a red spotted toadstool (which could actually be
a mushroom for all you know). Exactly why it's sitting on one isn't exactly
clear, but it's sitting all the same. Currently, it's facing "
S556: "The gnome appears to be digging a hole in its base with a spade. Why
would it want to escape your garden? After all, you've always been kind to your
gnomes. Currently, it's facing "
S557: "The gnome's hands are on its hips, and its back is arched. Its mouth is
wide open, so it's either laughing or yawning. The fact that it has nothing
else to do (unlike its friends) leads you to believe the latter. Currently,
it's facing "
S558: "The bird-table is covered in shallow pools of water, and the showering
rain casts ripples across them. A solitary bird is perched, motionless, on the
edge."
S559: "Upon closer inspection, you see that the bird is, in fact, mechanical,
and appears to be mounted on a little sliding switch."
S560: "Taking the bird would only damage the mechanism."
S561: "The bird clicks forward, and slides back. Suddenly, it jerks its head "
S562: "up and down rapidly. You hear a click as the door unlocks, "
S563: "but seeing as how the door's already open, it doesn't really make a lot
of difference."
S564: "This is the street outside your house. "
S565: "A wide array of arcane symbols have been chalked onto the pavement; who
knows what strange ritual they are required for?"
S566: "Some sort of message has been chalked onto the pavement."
S567: " Your porch is to the south, while the street extends to the east,
towards the Farnham's house, and to the west, where your other, unknown,
neighbours live. The opposite pavement is north of here."
S568: "Like there's anything of interest on that side of the road."
S569: "Street"
S570: "You walk west for a little bit, but soon give up walking past
featureless houses, so you turn round and head back."
S571: "Actually, on closer inspection, the symbols aren't so mysterious; the
rain has faded the chalk somewhat, although if you squint, you can just about
make out the letters "
S572: ". Perhaps this is some form of magic word?"
S573: "Although the rain has eroded a little more of the chalk, it still says "
S574: "This is the street outside the Farnham's house. Their porch is to the
south, while the street extends to the east, where more unknown people live,
and west, back towards your own house. The other side of the street is north."
S575: "Like there's anything of interest over there."
S576: "You walk east for a little bit, but soon give up walking past
featureless houses, so you turn round and head back."
S577: "
The sound of muttering comes from the south, closely followed by the sound of a
door slamming."
S578: "
You can just hear Jeff closing the door."
S579: "This is the Farnham's porch. The front door is to the south, while the
street is to the north."
S580: "As you start to walk towards the pavement, a buzzer sounds, probably
indicating that you've set off a motion sensor or something stupid like that.
Jeff's voice blares through the speaker, "I said, put it back!" The menace in
his voice is too overwhelming to ignore, so you decide not to leave just yet.
"
S581: "
"If you want the milk, just ask!" says Jeff."
S582: "
"Where do you think you're going with my milk, eh? Put it back, right now!""
S583: "You try and muscle your way past Jeff, who pushes you back. "What the
hell do you think you're doing?" he shouts."
S584: "As the doorbell music fades, you hear a rustling noise from within the
house."
S585: "Although the front door stands wide open, Jeff's not inconsiderable bulk
blocks the way south."
S586: "The front door is a simple affair; the only features of note are the
letterbox, the frosted glass, and the doorbell."
S587: "Banging on the door elicits no response. Maybe there's a more civilised
way of getting attention."
S588: "Jeff's letterbox is best left alone; it's probably booby-trapped or
something."
S589: "It's a simple push bell."
S590: "As you push the bell in, a twee tinkly version of "
S591: "the Prodigy's "No Good (Start the Dance)""
S592: "the Orb's "Perpetual Dawn""
S593: "the Wonderstuff's "Circlesquare""
S594: "Fatboy Slim's "Everybody Needs a 303""
S595: "Moby's "Hymn""
S596: "Dubstar's "No More Talk""
S597: "Orbital's "Halcyon""
S598: "DJ Crystl's "Warp Drive""
S599: "Kenickie's "In Your Car""
S600: "Bentley Rhythm Ace's "Bentley's Gonna Sort You Out!""
S601: "Ganja Kru's "Plague that Never Ends""
S602: "Radiohead's "High and Dry""
S603: "Portishead's "Numb""
S604: "Black Grape's "Reverend Black Grape""
S605: "Massive Attack's "Karmacoma""
S606: "The Verve's "Bittersweet Symphony""
S607: "Underworld's "Born Slippy""
S608: "Tricky's "Pumpkin""
S609: "Future Sound of London's "Papua New Guinea""
S610: "Coldcut's "Atomic Moog""
S611: "New Order's "Blue Monday""
S612: "the KLF's "3am Eternal""
S613: "Pop Will Eat Itself's "Wise Up! Sucker...""
S614: "Pulp's "Something Changed""
S615: "Lionrock's "Packet of Peace""
S616: "Leftfield's "Original""
S617: "James' "Born of Frustration""
S618: "the Chemical Brothers' "Leave Home""
S619: "Edwyn Collins' "A Girl Like You""
S620: "Aphex Twin's "Analogue Bubblebath""
S621: "Ash's "Angel Interceptor""
S622: "Bjoerk's "Big Time Sensuality""
S623: "the Pet Shop Boys' "Suburbia""
S624: "Carter USM's "The Only Living Boy in New Cross""
S625: "the Manic Street Preacher's "Motorcycle Emptiness""
S626: "
Jeff stares at you."
S627: "
"Why are you doing that? I'm already here.""
S628: "
"Stop it!""
S629: "
Jeff rolls his eyes."
S630: ""Alright, alright, I'm coming!""
S631: ""For God's sake, just a minute!""
S632: ""Yeah, hang on!""
S633: ""I said, just a minute!""
S634: ""Pack it in, I'm on my way!""
S635: "
You hear the door open to the south. "
S636: "Jeff mutters something about "those bloody kids" before slamming it
shut."
S637: "After a moment, Jeff cautiously closes it again."
S638: "
A voice calls from inside the house, "Just a minute!""
S639: "
You hear footsteps coming down the stairs inside the house."
S640: "who takes one look at you, and slams the door shut, whimpering."
S641: "who looks at you, grins maliciously, and slams the door with glee."
S642: "who looks at you timidly. "Er, what is it?" he enquires, in a somewhat
uncertain manner."
S643: "who stares at the carton of milk in your hand. "Are you deaf? Put it
back!" he barks."
S644: "who looks from you to the carton of milk, and back again. "I suggest you
put that milk on the pad," he says, menacingly, "if you know what's good for
you.""
S645: "who looks down his nose at you. "Yes?" he enquires, in a somewhat
unfriendly manner."
S646: "Since the carton is on top of the pad, all you can see is a ring of
black surrounding the carton's base."
S647: "The pad is a small circle, about three and a half inches in diameter."
S648: "
A recording of Jeff's annoyingly nasal voice emanates from a hidden speaker.
"Put it back!" he exclaims."
S649: " on the pad, a buzzer sounds. Fearing the consequences, you hastily
withdraw "
S650: "Jeff is a pillar of the community; he never drinks, smokes, or
fornicates. At least, that's what most people think; rumours have circulated in
the past that he often drinks with his friends (contravening the beliefs of his
Church), smokes like a chimney (despite being chairman of the local Parents
Against Smoking committee), and regularly "gets it on" with a variety of women
(only one of which he is married to). He hates you because he thinks you're
dull, while you hate him because he's a hypocrite. Therefore, it would be fair
to say that the two of you are barely on speaking terms with each other."
S651: "
Jeff mutters something under his breath."
S652: "
Jeff sighs pointedly."
S653: "
Jeff clears his throat."
S654: "
Jeff absently scratches his back"
S655: "
Jeff rubs his eyes."
S656: "
Jeff taps his fingers against the door."
S657: "
Jeff cracks his knuckles."
S658: "
Jeff looks at his watch."
S659: "
Jeff gulps nervously."
S660: "
Jeff bites his lower lip."
S661: "
Jeff prays silently."
S662: "
Jeff looks worried."
S663: "
Jeff rubs his eyes."
S664: "
Jeff scratches his neck."
S665: "
Jeff wipes his sweaty palms on his legs."
S666: "
Jeff smiles nervously."
S667: "Jeff gapes at you, horrified. "You can't have Emily!" he says. "She's my
daughter!""
S668: "Jeff gapes at you, horrified. "You can't have Lucy!" he says. "She's my
wife!""
S669: "Jeff glares at you. "I see. You're expecting me to indulge in inane
smalltalk. Well, it might come to you as a surprise, but some of us have to go
out to proper jobs, instead of sitting hunched over some stupid computer. Now,
either get to the point or go away!""
S670: ""Are you going to spout rubbish all morning? Some of us have got "
S671: ""Please, just tell me what you want!""
S672: ""We get on fine, Lucinda and me.""
S673: ""For the love of God, please don't involve her!""
S674: ""She's my secretary, that's all.""
S675: ""It was only a fling! It's over now, I swear!""
S676: ""Son? What the hell do you mean? Just because she's got shaved hair
doesn't make her a boy, dammit!"
S677: ""Please don't tell her about this! She's at a sensitive age!""
S678: ""I don't know what you're talking about.""
S679: ""You've got to destroy them! I'd be ruined if this ever got out!""
S680: ""Stop asking me stupid questions and get to the point!""
S681: "He laughs disbelievingly. "Whatever you say.""
S682: "He snorts contemptuously. "Do I look as though I care?""
S683: "Jeff takes the photos and peers at them. His initial reaction is one of
disgust; this soon gives way to panic when he realises exactly who it is in the
photos. Suddenly, it dawns on him what you've just done.

"I take it you're finished with these?" he says, twisting his features into a
lascivious leer.

You can only nod dumbly as he slams the door in your face. Ever get the feeling
you've been cheated?"
S684: "Jeff eagerly snatches the photos from you and slams the door in your
face. He opens it again, just a fraction, to thank you (although the tone in
his voice suggests that he's being rather insincere). He slams the door shut
again, and as you stand there on his porch, you can't help feeling that you've
missed an opportunity."
S685: ""Oh my God!" he splutters. "Where did you get those?""
S686: "He turns his head. "Please, don't! I've seen enough.""
S687: "The bits of cereal have washed away, allowing you to see that it's a
special commemorative Infocom dish, with a picture of Dave Lebling on the side
staring up at you. A bit sinister, actually."
S688: "You pour the milk into the bowl. "
S689: "You empty the cornflakes into the bowl. "
S690: "You need to put some cereal in now."
S691: "The design is obscured by soggy muck."
S692: "Moving your head from left to right, you notice that Dave's eyes seem to
follow yours."
S693: "They look scarily hypnotic."
S694: "Just dust."
S695: "
You feel a sharp twinge in your nose."
S696: "
You start sniffing involuntarily."
S697: "No, you've done enough dust-sniffing for one day."
S698: "It'd would only give you a sore throat and a dry mouth"
S699: "The milk is a watery yellow colour, and the cornflakes look horrendously
soggy. At the moment, it is simultaneously the most delicious-looking food
you've ever seen, and also the least appetising. However, it's food"
S700: " (something the yoghurt in the fridge can't claim to be)"
S701: ", and that's all that matters right now. You'll just have to swallow
your pride and swallow it down."
S702: "There's no way you could pick up that gloopy mess. Besides, the thought
of eating it is enough to make your stomach turn, let alone plunge your hand
into its yellow depths."
S703: "Eating it with your hands isn't an option, I'm afraid."
S704: "As you are about to dip the spoon into the bowl's contents, you realise
that your hand is shaking, and your breathing has become rapid and shallow. You
give yourself a moment to compose yourself, before plunging the spoon into the
milky cereal and scooping it into your mouth in one fluid movement.
Triumphantly, you pull the spoon from your mouth, and swallow, trying to force
the mixture down your throat.

You begin to choke, and sink to your knees, bent double. You realise that
something is lodged within your throat, and begin pumping your stomach with a
clenched fist to attempt to force it out. It flops out of your mouth, and you
pick it up. It's a small metal bar, about an inch long. You turn it in the
light, this way and that, and the realisation dawns on you that it's the super
lucky magnet advertised on the cereal box.

Barely moments later, you feel a sharp stabbing in your stomach, followed by a
warm rising sensation. You realise that you're about to be sick, and scramble
to your feet. You need to throw up somewhere, quickly!"
S705: "The magnet is about the size of a Mars Bar (regular, not king size).
Half of it is red, and has a white letter N printed on it, while the other half
is a dull grey color, with a white letter S printed on it."
S706: "Holding the magnet to Suzy causes her eyes to flash, and she spins
around with surprising speed. "Oeeuughgheaaeaaehhhh" is probably the best way
to write the sound that she makes. She eventually slows down, until she's back
to how she was, showing no indication that the last twenty seconds ever
happened."
S707: "Holding the magnet to Suzy causes her eyes to flash, and she spins
around with surprising speed. "Oeeuughgheaaeaaehhhh" is probably the best way
to write the sound that she makes. She eventually slows down, until she's back
to how she was, showing no indication that the last twenty seconds ever
happened. You notice that the display on her back appears to be scrambled."
S708: "Although Suzy emits a faint humming noise when the magnet is near,
nothing else happens."
S709: "It's a bronze spoon, so the magnet won't stay on."
S710: "Nothing happens when you hold the magnet to the TV."
S711: "As you move the magnet closer to the TV, the picture temporarily warps
and changes colour."
S712: "Better hadn't; you'll probably wipe them."
S713: "You would never dream of defiling your screwdrive in such a manner."
S714: "But you might damage it, and you'd be stuck outside again."
S715: "A strange buzzing noise seems to come from all around; it ceases when
you move the magnet away from the pad."
S716: "It's a bar magnet, not a fridge magnet!"
S717: "You try pulling the magnet, but it appears to be firmly stuck on the
door."
S718: "You push the magnet as hard as you can, and, after much effort, you
manage to slide the bolt back. "
S719: "I said, don't answer that!"
S720: "I told you not to answer that!"
S721: "The door is now locked again. Can I just ask if there was any point to
that? Then again, don't answer, I really don't care any more."
S722: "The bolt protrudes from the edge of the open door."
S723: "This is the storage room. If you're here (and not looking through the
disassembled source), then you've found a bug."
S724: "You can't go anywhere."
S725: "The thief is a lean and hungry gentleman, who is never seen in the game.
Shame on you for looking at a disassembly! Shame on you!"
S726: "
As you step through the door, you realise with a start that you've been
burgled; your house is in an even greater state of disarray than usual. You
rush through to the computer room, only to find your beloved Computer gone.
Tears well up in your eyes, blurring your vision, and you suddenly remember
something. Suzy! You run through to the Living Room, and see her broken chassis
lying in the middle of the room, her mangled parts strewn across the floor. You
fall to the ground, sobbing uncontrollably."
S727: "The vomit lies in a small patch on the ground. At first, it looks like a
daemon that jumps in when the player is about to throw up, but closer
examination reveals to be a mirror. The vomit looks like YOU, oh
Person-Who-Disassembles-Games-In-Order-To-Cheat-At-Them. And it probably smells
similar, too ;-)

If you're a beta-tester, you should ignore the above... :)"
S728: "
Your stomach gently rumbles, reminding you that you're hungry."
S729: "
A quiet growling noise emerges from your stomach."
S730: "
A silent grumble from your stomach reminds you that you need food."
S731: "
An abrupt grunt is forced from your stomach, followed by a languid gurgle."
S732: "
Your stomach sounds like it's gargling something unhealthy."
S733: "
You feel a sharp pain in your stomach, like the stabbing of an invisible knife,
accompanied by a suspect growl."
S734: " Jeff looks at you and grins lopsidedly. "Feeling alright?" he sneers."
S735: " Jeff looks at you. "Are you okay?" he asks. "Is there anything I can
do?""
S736: "
Your stomach seems to be imitating the growl of an angry dog"
S737: "
Your stomach grunts urgently"
S738: "
Your stomach forces out a prolonged gurgle"
S739: "
A strangled gargle emerges from your stomach"
S740: "followed by"
S741: "accompanied by"
S742: "along with"
S743: "sharp "
S744: "sudden "
S745: "stabbing "
S746: "shooting "
S747: "pain"
S748: "sensation"
S749: " Jeff looks at you and grins lopsidedly. "Feeling alright?" he sneers."
S750: " Jeff looks at you. "Are you okay?" he asks. "Is there anything I can
do?""
S751: "A flash of pain brings you to your knees. Clutching your stomach, you
try to suppress the hurt within that threatens to explode. Gagging, you throw
up, once, twice, three times. As it sprays against Jeff's bare feet, he yells
in surprise and disgust. He slams the door just as you pass out, lying in a
pool of your own vomit."
S752: "A flash of pain brings you to your knees. Clutching your stomach, you
try to suppress the hurt within that threatens to explode. Gagging, you throw
up, once, twice, three times. You pass out, lying in a pool of your own vomit."
S753: "You dive for the toilet, tripping over the prone figure of a sleeping
friend and plunging your head into the welcoming opening of the bowl, just as a
spray of vomit is ejected from your mouth, pitter-pattering against the side of
the bowl. Your stomach muscles contract, sending fresh waves up and out. When
all is done, you slump backwards, a smile playing across your face as you
recall the memory of the cornflakes; compared to what you can taste now, it
truly was A Good Breakfast."
S754: "
You swallow the saliva filling up in your mouth, only for it to be replaced by
more."
S755: "
Your stomach muscles clench forcefully, then relax again. The pain is
excruciating."
S756: "
The pain in your stomach is almost unbearable."
S757: "
You swallow hastily, sending vomit back down your throat."
S758: "
The taste of vomit is strong in your mouth now."
S759: "Unable to contain yourself any longer, you bend double, spraying the
ground and Jeff's feet with wave after wave of vomit. He yells in surprise and
disgust, and slams the door as you slump to the ground, drained, and you pass
out, with your head in the middle of it all."
S760: "Unable to contain yourself any longer, you bend double, spraying the
ground and your feet with wave after wave of vomit. You slump to the ground,
drained, and pass out, with your head in the middle of it all."
S761: "If you're reading this then you've found a bug in the vomit routine.
D'oh!"
S762: "You are standing on the south bank of the river Rhaneshka, which
separates the Arranekh Continent in two. The Rhaneshka runs in an easterly
direction, although you see nothing alongside it (and from what you have heard,
its banks are populated solely by outlaws and brigands).

To the south lie the Plains; you have spent the last few days travelling across
its treacherous sands, and have no desire to return so soon. To the north is a
bridge; its sides stretch up past head-height, and a doorway has been carved
into the east wall. Across the bridge, you can see your home town of
Istalashtir, its fabled Great Gate facing you."
S763: "There doesn't seem to be anything in that direction; besides, you have
no real desire to discover whether outlaws really "
S764: "There doesn't seem to be anything in that direction; besides, you have
no real desire to discover whether outlaws really "
S765: "In that direction lie the Plains; to return now would bring dishonour to
your people."
S766: "In that direction lie the Plains; to return now would bring dishonour to
your people."
S767: "In that direction lie the Plains; to return now would bring dishonour to
your people."
S768: "The Rhaneshka looks too fast-flowing to attempt to swim across."
S769: "The Rhaneshka looks too fast-flowing to attempt to swim across."
S770: "The rushing of the Rhaneshka is all you can hear."
S771: "The Rhaneshka runs east-west across the Arranekh continent, neatly
dividing the two neighbouring countries, Arranekh-Istal, where your home is,
and Arranekh-Mhada, where Nevaheti lies. Its dark, rushing waters suggest
hidden depths; it would probably be too fast for you to swim across."
S772: "You cup your hands, dip them into the ice-cold water, and splash the
refreshing water into and around your mouth, savouring its coolness."
S773: "Despite the thick layer of rock beneath your feet, you still feel a
little nervous about standing above the rapid Rhaneshka. Tall stone barriers,
reaching high above your head, prevent you from jumping in (as if you would!)
One of them, the eastern one, has an arch carved into it, with the word "Guard"
scrawled above it.

Straddling, as you are, two nations, it seems fairly safe to say that to the
north lies Arranekh-Istal (and your home, the city of Istalashtir), while
Arranekh-Mhada is to the south."
S774: "
"Stop!"

Before you have time to react, a tall, muscular woman (presumably the guard)
strides out of the archway. "And where do you think you're going?" she asks
(somewhat rhetorically, you feel). Before you are able to answer, she turns you
around by your shoulders, and gives you a hefty shove back to the south bank.
You stumble, and nearly lose your footing. The words "Be off with you!"
accompany you, but when you look back, she has returned to her arch.
"
S775: "Standing on the north bank of the Rhaneshka, you face north towards the
great city of Istalashtir. The Great Gate is wide open before you, the twin
towers of Elsta and Gelsta either side of it, stretching towards the sky,
pointing at the heavens. The road leads north into Istalashtir, and south back
onto the bridge."
S776: "You decide not to take your chances with the guard again."
S777: "The rushing of the Rhaneshka is all you can hear."
S778: "The doors of the Great Gate, made from solid iron, lie invitingly open."
S779: "There's no way you could move them on your own."
S780: "The twin towers stand either side of the Great Gate, Elsta on the
eastern side, Gelsta on the western side. They are said to contain the remains
of the warriors who died in the Ahktrian war of independance, although whether
this is truth or myth is unknown, as there is no apparent way of entering
them."
S781: "The sound of the letterbox jolts you from sleep. Half-remembered
snatches of dream drift across the inside of your eyelids; your brain brings
back memories of last night... the party... drinking... sitting in vomit...
clothes in the washing machine... slumping into bed... the visions merge and
blur, lazily warping from one form to another until you open your eyes. The sun
shines through the window, casting its golden rays over the lower half of your
bed and onto the floor.

Despite your best efforts last night, you awake without a hangover. As your
sleep-induced confusion fades, you wonder why you didn't wake earlier; after
all, it's usually half-six when the sound of clanking milk-bottles rouses you
from your slumber, but a quick glance at your watch tells you that it's nine.
Good job you work from home, really.

Suddenly, the realisation hits you; you're hungry. No, not hungry, positively "
S782: "! Maybe you should get something to eat, and soon!

"
S783: "[Your interpreter appears to have the 'piracy' bit set on. Please bear
this in mind if some responses seem unusual.]"
S784: "[Please press a key to continue.]"
S785: "A GOOD BREAKFAST"
S786: "[Please press SPACE to begin.]"
S787: "Hope is a good breakfast, but a bad supper."
S788: "-- Proverb"
S789: ""
S790: ""Why, sometimes I've believed as many as"
S791: "six impossible things before breakfast.""
S792: "-- Lewis Carrol, "Through the Looking-Glass""
S793: "Please select an option from the menu."
S794: "A GOOD BREAKFAST"
S795: ""A Good Breakfast" is my entry into the 1997 IF Competition, and is my
first piece of IF ever. I admit it's not the most innovative work ever, nor is
it the most imaginative, but I think it might make quite a good introductory
game. To get the most out of it, I recommend that you use an interpreter that
can handle both fixed-width and proportional fonts. Note that if the font is
'wrong' (and you'll know what I mean if it happens), it will correct itself
after a turn."
S796: " With Interactive Fiction (or IF), you communicate with the game by
typing your commands at the prompt. The game then interprets what you typed,
and presents you with the results of your actions. Examples of sentences would
be:
"
S797: "> GET THE TROUT
> GO NORTH
> ENTER THE DUMB WAITER
> THROW THE BRICK AT THE PURPLE ANTELOPE

"
S798: "Note that you don't have to be so verbose; in the last case, THROW BRICK
AT ANTELOPE would be fine, unless there is also a green antelope, in which case
the game will ask you which antelope you wanted to throw the brick at. Other
common abbreviations are given in the 'Basic Commands' section.

"
S799: "When communicating with characters, there are three possible syntaxes:
<character>, <command>; SAY <thing> TO <character>; and ASK <character> ABOUT
<thing>. For example:
"
S800: "> CASSANDRA, GO NORTH
> RICHARD, DROP THE BOOK
> SAY PLUGH TO THE PRESIDENT
> ASK JOANNE ABOUT THE PHOTOCOPIER

"
S801: "Commands can be strung together with THEN or a full-stop. Also, IT can
be used to refer to the last object mentioned, and HIM and HER do the same for
characters. For example:
"
S802: "> TAKE THE CAN THEN GO NORTH
> EXAMINE THE MAGNIFYING GLASS. GET IT THEN LOOK AT THE TERMITE WITH IT
> EXAMINE THE DWARF THEN KICK HIM
> PUSH SUSAN. GIVE HER THE ROPE

"
S803: " Finally, some verbs allow multiple nouns to be provided, separated by
AND or a comma. The word ALL can be used to refer to all objects. For example:
"
S804: "> DROP THE GLASSES, THE MODEM AND THE BUFFALO
> GET ALL

"
S805: "One final note; you don't have to type everything in capitals!"
S806: "NORTH/SOUTH/EAST/WEST
NORTHEAST/SOUTHEAST
NORTHWEST/SOUTHWEST
UP/DOWN/ENTER/LEAVE
OPEN"
S807: " <object> - look closely at an object (or item of scenery)
<character>, <command>
"
S808: " - re-describe your surroundings
"
S809: " - gives version information on the game
"
S810: " <word> - correct a typing error:"
S811: "
   > EXAMINE TELGRAM 
   You can't see any such thing.

   > OOPS TELEGRAM 
   The telegram reads, "Dearest Christabel..."

"
S812: " - long description when room first entered, then short description
"
S813: " - give the current score, along with explanation of points scored
"
S814: " - restart the game from the beginning
"
S815: " - turn on/off notification of score increase
"
S816: " - give definitions of currently understood pronouns
"
S817: " - list objects you have handled
"
S818: " - turn on/off transcript printing
"
S819: " - disable on-line hints for the rest of the session

"
S820: "G - AGAIN
I - INVENTORY
O - OOPS
Q - QUIT
X - EXAMINE
Z - WAIT"
S821: "If you have access to anonymous FTP, why not have a look at the
IF-archive at 'ftp.gmd.de/if-archive'? There are games, solutions, compilers,
etc., and it's all expertly maintained by Volker Blasius and David Kinder at
the German National Research Centre for Computer Science.

"
S822: ""A Good Breakfast" was written using version 6.14 of "Inform", a C-like
object-oriented programming language written by Graham Nelson. It can be found
at ftp.gmd.de, in the directory '/if-archive/infocom/compilers/inform/'.

"
S823: "Two e-zines are also available; SPAG and XYZZYnews. Back issues can be
found at ftp.gmd.de, in the directory /if-archive/magazines/', then in the
directory 'SPAG' or 'xyzzy'. See the magazines for subscription details.

"
S824: "This game may be distributed freely, as long as it remains unaltered,
and as long as no profit is made from it; only a nominal fee may be charged for
reproduction, distribution, etc. It may only be included on magazine disks,
CD-ROMs, etc. with the author's permission.

Because "A Good Breakfast" is free, no warranty of any sort is expressed or
implied. In other words, if it sends your computer into an Nth-complexity
infinite binary loop, you can't touch me, copper. However, I'm reasonably sure
that nothing nasty will happen."
S825: "I'd like to say a big "thank you!" to the following people:

- Graham Nelson, who wrote Inform, without which this game might never have
been written;

- Gerry Kevin Wilson, for organising the competition, without which this game
might never have been written;

- Volker Blasius and David Kinder, for maintaining the IF-Archive;

- Mary Kuhner and Douglas McNeil, for their excellent beta-testing;

- L. Ross Raszewski, whose library extensions I used for the menu and hints
system; - everyone at rec.arts.int-fiction, for putting up with and answering a
newbie's problems;

- and finally, Joanne.
"
S826: "Stuart Adair is 19 years old, and is studying Computation at UMIST,
Manchester. His favourite TV programmes are Frasier, Seinfeld and the Simpsons,
his favourite bands are Dubstar and Kenickie, and he wants to be a fireman when
he grows up.

His first experience of computing was when he was 6, which was also his first
taste of IF. His grandfather showed him "The Hobbit" on the Sinclair Spectrum,
and after spending ten minutes trying to open the green door, realised that it
wasn't necessary to type PLEASE OPEN THE DOOR, when OPEN DOOR would suffice.
Since then, he has had a keen interest in both computers and IF (or "adventure
games" as they were known then). He started off with a Spectrum of his own (as
well as an Atari VCS2600), then graduated to a Commodore Amiga 500. The
computer he now uses is a P133. Along the way, he has also owned a BBC Model B,
an Amiga CD32, a 486SX/33, a BBC A3000, and an Amiga 1200 (which he still
owns).

He thinks that describing himself in the third person is a weird experience."
S827: "If you're stuck, you can access the on-line hints by typing HINT."
S828: "Please select an option from the menu."
S829: "A GOOD BREAKFAST"
S830: "...that your character is female?"
S831: "...that the source code is over 190k?"
S832: "...that the game is set in North-West Britain?"
S833: "...that I've run out of interesting things to mention?"
S834: "...XYZZY?"
S835: "...ZORK?"
S836: "...typing the above two commands with the 'piracy' bit set on your
interpreter?"
S837: "...FROTZ something?"
S838: "...FROTZ ME?"
S839: "...FROTZ JEFF?"
S840: "...SIT ON WASHING MACHINE?"
S841: "...SIT ON SCREWDRIVER?"
S842: "...SING?"
S843: "...THINK?"
S844: "...REMOVE CLOTHES outside?"
S845: "...REMOVE CLOTHES in front of Jeff?"
S846: "...EAT YOGHURT? Before and after you've seen it?"
S847: "...PUT MAGNET ON SUZY? While playing Onny-Offy?"
S848: "...SCORE while playing Zkwork VII?"
S849: "...LISTEN TO FRIDGE?"
S850: "...COUNT CORNFLAKES?"
S851: "...FULL SCORE while playing Zkwork VII?"
S852: "...JUMP while playing Zkwork VII?"
S853: "...EXAMINE DUST (found in bedroom and kitchen)? "
S854: "...SMELL DUST?"
S855: "...PUT various objects IN COMPUTER?"
S856: "...ENTER WARDROBE, CLOSE WARDROBE, SLEEP?"
S857: "...swearing?"
S858: "This section tells you which songs are quoted, and how to get them.
"
S859: "Song: "Sleep Alone" by the Wonderstuff"
S860: "Action: WAIT
"
S861: "Song: "Stars" by Dubstar"
S862: "Action: SING
"
S863: "Song: "St Swithin's Day" by Billy Bragg"
S864: "Action: THINK
"
S865: "Song: "Karma Police" by Radiohead"
S866: "Action: LISTEN TO FRIDGE
"
S867: "Song: "Tubthumping" by Chumbawamba"
S868: "Action: SMELL THE CIDER in the cups in the hall
"
S869: "Song: "Babies" by Pulp"
S870: "Action: SLEEP inside the wardrobe in the bedroom (it must be closed)
"
S871: "Each action is worth one point:"
S872: "   Wearing the clothes"
S873: "   Showing Jeff the photos"
S874: "   Asking Jeff for the milk"
S875: "   Getting the cereal"
S876: "   Winning Suzy's game"
S877: "   Cleaning the dish"
S878: "   Eating breakfast"
S879: "   Unlocking the bathroom door"
S880: "   Entering the bathroom"
S881: "   Winning Zkwork VII"
S882: "There are 69,105 cornflakes here. That's a lot of cornflakes. Maybe you
miscounted them."
S883: "A hollow voice sighs, exasperated."
S884: "A hollow voice squawks, "Aarrhhh, ye be a fool to be expecting
something. I ought to keel-haul ye and tie ye gizzards to the middenmast!""
S885: "At your service! No, wait, that's not right..."
S886: "That's probably illegal without Jeff's consent."
S887: "Suzy sparkles a little, but no light is forthcoming, although she does
giggle a bit."
S888: " a little, but no light is forthcoming."
S889: " a little, but no light is forthcoming. Jeff rubs his eyes and looks
puzzled."
S890: "A hollow voice belches somewhat ungraciously."
S891: "Perhaps it isn't a magic word then."
S892: "Why are you trying to do that in a game? It's much more fun in real
life."
S893: "I wouldn't do that if I were you; you might cause yourself an injury or
something."
S894: "You sit on the chair and spin around before getting off, slightly
dizzier than when you got on. Quite literally seconds of fun."
S895: "You sit on the chair, but it's too tight to turn, which defeats the
whole point of having a nifty spinny chair."
S896: "That might be a good idea if it wasn't so hard on the old backside."
S897: "You turn around quickly, but see no-one behind you."
S898: "You turn around so that you face the other direction.

"Stop!"

Before you have time to react, a tall, muscular woman (presumably the guard)
strides out of the archway. "And where do you think you're going?" she asks
(somewhat rhetorically, you feel). Before you are able to answer, she turns you
around by your shoulders, and gives you a hefty shove towards the north bank.
You stumble, and nearly lose your footing. The words "Be off with you!"
accompany you, but when you look back, she has returned to her arch.

You wonder how soon it will be before she realises her mistake, and decide that
it would be in your best interests to leave as soon as possible, in case she
decides to rectify her error.
"
S899: "Ok, if you insist. You delve into the heap, and randomly pluck out an
adventure game cartridge."
S900: "As you plug the cartridge in, the computer whirrs into life...

"
S901: "An Interactive Plagiarism
Copyright (c) 1997 by Insipidcom, Inc. All rights reserved.
ZKWORK VII is a trademark of Insipidcom, Inc.
Release 42 / Serial number 970401

[Restoring saved game]

"
S902: "[Error: Unknown Opcode]
[Error: Opnown Uncode]
[Unnor: Ernown codode]
[Error: [Error: [ErrorrorrorrxyzzyI don't know how to do that with the
lardorrorrorr
[RTZ47RTZ47RTZ474747()]

"
S903: "Suddenly, the monitor goes blank, and the computer emits a puff of
smoke. By the look of things, not even an electrician's knock can fix it this
time.
"
S904: "Triumphantly, you enter the Great Gates. Crowds line the main street,
cheering as you walk down it.

"Nevahetistsa is destroyed! Estria conquers!" they cry. Tears fill your eyes,
tears of joy, and you sink to your knees, raising your hands high, offering
praise to Estria. A great light beams down from above, encircling you, filling
you with great peace, and you know that Estria smiles upon you.

"
S905: "In that game you scored 50 out of a possible 100, in "
S906: " turns.

Would you like to RESTART, RESTORE a saved game, give the FULL score for that
game, see some suggestions for AMUSING things to d

"
S907: "You dive into the icy waters of the Rhaneshka. Unfortunately, "
S908: "your initial observation was correct; "
S909: "it is far too fast-flowing for you to be able to cross. The current
carries you some way downstream, and you lose consciousness when your head
smashes against a rock.

You never awake.

"
S910: "In that game you scored 49 out of a possible 50, in "
S911: " turns.

Would you like to RESTART, RESTORE a saved game, give the FULL score for that
gam

"
S912: "
Suddenly, you hear an insistent bleeping sound.

"You won! You won!" hoots Suzy. "Have a spoon!"

As the display goes dark again, a previously-hidden panel slides open, and a
spoon rolls out onto the floor, settling at your feet. The panel slides back
into place, and closes seamlessly.

"Night-night!" says Suzy, and she rolls into the corner and allows the lights
in her eyes to fade."
S913: "The numbers only go from 1 to 16."
S914: ""That's my usual order; one carton of skimmed." He looks you right in
the eye. "And I'm planning on keeping it mine." he says, with more than a faint
trace of menace."
S915: ""Is that what you want? You want my milk? Here, please, take it, take
it, please!"

Jeff reaches behind the door, fiddles with something (presumebly switching off
the alarm), and "
S916: "with one deft movement, hands you the carton of milk and "
S917: "snatches the photos from you.

"Erm, thank you, thank you." he says, somewhat ingratiatingly. Bowing and
scraping, he closes the door."
S918: "Jeff is about to say something when he notices that "
S919: "the photos are lying on the ground. His eyes meet yours, and you both
lunge for the photos at the same time. "
S920: "You reach them just before he does, and triumphantly swipe them from his
reach.

"You want the milk? Here, have it!" he shouts as he straightens himself up. He
scoops the carton of milk up, shoves it into your hands, takes the photos from
you, and slams the door in your face.

Half a minute later, he opens it and apologises for his behaviour; this is
almost certainly due to the fact that you muttered something about some other
photos while the transaction took place. Whimpering, he gently closes the
door."
S921: "He reaches them just before you do, and triumphantly swipes them from
your grasp.

"My God, you're stupid!" he chuckles, and as he slams the door in your face,
you can't help but agree with him."
S922: "Several years ago, a good friend of yours offered to wire up an
alternative method of opening the door. You agreed (since you were forever
forgetting your key in your university days), but it's only ever been used
once, when your friend demonstrated it to you. You can't exactly remember how
it works (something to do with the gnomes, you suspect), but since you haven't
got your house key with you, I suggest you have a good think.

"
S923: "Suzy spins round, her eyes blinking happily. "Yaayyy, Onny-Offy
Onny-Offy Onny-Offy!" she chants gleefully.

Once she has stopped, she turns away from you, so that the display is facing
you. As you watch it, the "Play" button fades away, to be replaced by a
four-by-four grid, made up of sixteen points, along with a button marked
"Reset".

"I'll mixem up now," she says. The dots glow randomly, until the display is a
patchwork of on and off points.

"Onny-Offy's simps," she says, "all you hafta do is knock the points off. Touch
a point and I'll change all the points around it. Betcha can't do it though!
Push 'Reset' if you're gettin' beat!"

[The points are numbered from 1 to 16, running left-to-right, top-to-bottom. To
touch a point, type TOUCH <number>. To reset, type TOUCH RESET. To win, type
TOUCH WIN.]"
S924: "As the actress said to the bishop."
S925: "write to"
S926: "read"
S927: "send message"
S928: "increment"
S929: "decrement"
S930: "apply 'ofclass' for"
S931: "recreate"
S932: "destroy"
S933: "copy"
S934: "copy"
S935: "<unknown attribute>"
S936: "name"
S937: "create"
S938: "recreate"
S939: "destroy"
S940: "remaining"
S941: "copy"
S942: "call"
S943: "print"
S944: "print_to_array"
S945: "animate"
S946: "absent"
S947: "clothing"
S948: "concealed"
S949: "container"
S950: "door"
S951: "edible"
S952: "enterable"
S953: "general"
S954: "light"
S955: "lockable"
S956: "locked"
S957: "moved"
S958: "on"
S959: "open"
S960: "openable"
S961: "proper"
S962: "scenery"
S963: "scored"
S964: "static"
S965: "supporter"
S966: "switchable"
S967: "talkable"
S968: "transparent"
S969: "visited"
S970: "workflag"
S971: "worn"
S972: "male"
S973: "female"
S974: "neuter"
S975: "pluralname"
S976: "before"
S977: "after"
S978: "life"
S979: "n_to"
S980: "s_to"
S981: "e_to"
S982: "w_to"
S983: "ne_to"
S984: "se_to"
S985: "nw_to"
S986: "sw_to"
S987: "u_to"
S988: "d_to"
S989: "in_to"
S990: "out_to"
S991: "door_to"
S992: "with_key"
S993: "door_dir"
S994: "invent"
S995: "plural"
S996: "add_to_scope"
S997: "list_together"
S998: "react_before"
S999: "react_after"
S1000: "grammar"
S1001: "orders"
S1002: "initial"
S1003: "when_open"
S1004: "when_closed"
S1005: "when_on"
S1006: "when_off"
S1007: "description"
S1008: "describe"
S1009: "article"
S1010: "cant_go"
S1011: "found_in"
S1012: "time_left"
S1013: "number"
S1014: "time_out"
S1015: "daemon"
S1016: "each_turn"
S1017: "capacity"
S1018: "short_name"
S1019: "short_name_indef"
S1020: "parse_name"
S1021: "articles"
S1022: "inside_description"
S1023: "play"
S1024: "Pronouns"
S1025: "Quit"
S1026: "Restart"
S1027: "Restore"
S1028: "Save"
S1029: "Verify"
S1030: "ScriptOn"
S1031: "ScriptOff"
S1032: "NotifyOn"
S1033: "NotifyOff"
S1034: "Places"
S1035: "Objects"
S1036: "Score"
S1037: "FullScore"
S1038: "Inv"
S1039: "Take"
S1040: "Drop"
S1041: "Remove"
S1042: "PutOn"
S1043: "Insert"
S1044: "EmptyT"
S1045: "Give"
S1046: "Show"
S1047: "Enter"
S1048: "GetOff"
S1049: "Exit"
S1050: "VagueGo"
S1051: "Go"
S1052: "LMode1"
S1053: "LMode2"
S1054: "LMode3"
S1055: "Look"
S1056: "Examine"
S1057: "LookUnder"
S1058: "Search"
S1059: "Unlock"
S1060: "Lock"
S1061: "SwitchOn"
S1062: "SwitchOff"
S1063: "Open"
S1064: "Close"
S1065: "Disrobe"
S1066: "Wear"
S1067: "Eat"
S1068: "Yes"
S1069: "No"
S1070: "Burn"
S1071: "Pray"
S1072: "Wake"
S1073: "WakeOther"
S1074: "Kiss"
S1075: "Think"
S1076: "Smell"
S1077: "Listen"
S1078: "Taste"
S1079: "Touch"
S1080: "Dig"
S1081: "Cut"
S1082: "Jump"
S1083: "JumpOver"
S1084: "Tie"
S1085: "Drink"
S1086: "Fill"
S1087: "Sorry"
S1088: "Strong"
S1089: "Mild"
S1090: "Attack"
S1091: "Swim"
S1092: "Swing"
S1093: "Blow"
S1094: "Rub"
S1095: "Set"
S1096: "SetTo"
S1097: "WaveHands"
S1098: "Wave"
S1099: "Pull"
S1100: "Push"
S1101: "Turn"
S1102: "PushDir"
S1103: "Squeeze"
S1104: "ThrowAt"
S1105: "Tell"
S1106: "Answer"
S1107: "Ask"
S1108: "Ask"
S1109: "Buy"
S1110: "Sing"
S1111: "Climb"
S1112: "Wait"
S1113: "Sleep"
S1114: "Consult"
S1115: "parse_input"
S1116: "AskFor"
S1117: "GiveR"
S1118: "ShowR"
S1119: "begin_action"
S1120: "end_turn_sequence"
S1121: "TurnPlayer"
S1122: "Eaten_Breakfast"
S1123: "Transfer"
S1124: "Version"
S1125: "Empty"
S1126: "InvTall"
S1127: "InvWide"
S1128: "GoIn"
S1129: "ifAff"
S1130: "ifNeg"
S1131: "ifNeither"
S1132: "select"
S1133: "sup_bar"
S1134: "label"
S1135: "toggle"
S1136: "title_bar"
S1137: "pages"
S1138: "mp_mode"
S1139: "sw"
S1140: "num_lines_avail"
S1141: "page"
S1142: "emblazon"
S1143: "titles"
S1144: "execute"
S1145: "doname"
S1146: "selection_name"
S1147: "put_Option"
S1148: "printsn"
S1149: "GiveHint"
S1150: "HelpOff"
S1151: "Help"
S1152: "Seen_Photos"
S1153: "Been_Given_Photos"
S1154: "Disk_Taken"
S1155: "Playing_Puzzle"
S1156: "Outside"
S1157: "Bolted"
S1158: "Small"
S1159: "Medium"
S1160: "channel"
S1161: "counter"
S1162: "TurnOtherWay"
S1163: "TurnDir"
S1164: "HelpMenu"
S1165: "Xyzzy"
S1166: "Zork"
S1167: "Frotz"
S1168: "Doh"
S1169: "DosCommand"
S1170: "SA4JW"
S1171: "Sit"
S1172: "TakeMe"
S1173: "InputNumber"
S1174: "Count"

[End of text]

[End of file]